Black.
Saturday 18 August 2007
Well, a little bit of everything tonight.
First, at about five minutes into the shift, a police car, an ambulance, and a fire engine come roaring into the park. It appears that an owner had decided that it really wasn't the holiday venue for him and, instead, put his wallet, mobile phone and a letter up on a tree outside his caravan, then went back inside, locked himself in, poured petrol all over his body and set fire to himself.
He died.
It isn't in any way funny you insensitive bastards, but I'd heard the barbecues that the management threw for the owner's were smokin', but this one takes the cake.
(I'd never met the guy, so it's okay, really. God turns a blind eye if you don't actually know the people you mock. Incidentally, the note he had prepared said something about 'this isn't suspicious', would would ring all kinds of alarm bells if I was a cop.)
About half-midnight we had to eject about thirty 16-24 year-olds for repeatedly 'accidentally' breaking glasses and bottles. I told them if they behaved (quote: "If you don't fuck around spitting, swearing, smashing things and generally being pricks...") they could come back in half an hour or so later.
However... a bit earlier, I had to twice throw out a group of five locals. All probably 16-17 years old. They were fine with me but each time they were down at the main gates they felt some kind of compulsion to have a go at punters who were leaving. Most people ignore stuff like this, preferring to keep on the safe path back to their homes. Whether the chav/ASBO 'threat' is exaggerated or not, enough people believe in it to take no action.
Others, however - usually big blokes, or ballsy women - don't ignore it, and as per usual each time somebody came back at them the locals backed off, or one of the others would drag his mate back and say something ludicrous like, "He's not worth it..." Around 1am I thought they'd long gone, but no... one of them had stayed behind and decided it would be just killer to not only mouth off at a mother, but to knock her baby pram, too.
Well, the mother went fucking ape shit, as you can imagine, chasing the boy near out of the park. But not quite out, however, as her husband then ran upon the kid and started beating him to a bloody pulp. I had to intervene - I didn't want to, but there are cameras everywhere, and me standing back eating popcorn while even a chav dies probably wouldn't go down too well in court - and after I'd told him to, "Fuck off and run the fuck out of here!", he did. I calmed the family down - the mother was especially heated - but to be honest I'd have done the exact same thing in their position. You fuck with my kids and you die, plain and simple.
Unfortunately, the collective already outside the gates thought it would be just swell to goad the mother into chasing after the chav so none of them came back into the complex, either.
This week we've also had a bit of a black and white issue.
There has been, for some reason, a large group of black families in the park this week. And lots and lots of black kids. There are also lots and lots of white kids, too (plus one Chinese, but he just sits in the corner crying, picking his nose.) They're all about the same age - 15-18 - and it's been a recipe for fun.
The problem is, we've had x amount of what I would call slightly stereotypical British families. You know, old-fashioned types that would rather spend a fortune (£100/night in August) at a holiday park 'down South' than spend the same money abroad on Johnny Foreigner. Those that think PG Tips and Heinz Beans are more important than decent weather and learning how to say "Thank you" in a native tongue. People of the land. You know: morons.
Well, we have a few of those in. Most, lovely, lovely people. Just racist as fuck. "Yeah," one said, "I saw a load of the blacks picking on a young girl earlier."
"Well," I'd reply, "I'm not really comfortable confronting people simply on the basis of their colour. Whom do you mean specifically?"
"The blacks."
"Right."
See, one of the major problems we face in this poxy business is that if you haven't witnessed it yourself, you can't really do fuck all about it. Now, that's common sense when you think about it, but if you then throw in the risk of being seen as a racist as well - rightly or wrongly in this crazy modern world - it complicates things a lot more.
When people start telling me that 'blacks' are doing anything, I'm inclined, by default, to think they are not. Now, don't get me wrong - some of the black kids this week have been right little cunts. But then, of course, so have some of the white kids too. And that Chinese kid never has a fucking tissue.
Bottom line? Unless I'm fortunate enough to see the deed myself, I'm not going to go all strike team on 'the blacks' just because some twenty-something McKenzie-wearing dufus says he saw shit happen. I didn't see it happen. And if I'm being honest, I'm not convinced you did, either. Now go and get a proper hair-cut. Tram-lines? What the fuck is this: 1984?
posted by Sheamus @ 3:00 am
