Weekend.
Monday 13 August 2007
Right, let's see.
Saturday: busy night but generally uneventful. 2am, and we're closing the place down, getting the last few people out. All owners, of course, maybe fifteen of them. Several women. All of whom have a shit load of history.
One of them, a total pisshead I've written about before, had come up for some late drinks with a chap who works in park security. They're kind of a known couple, unofficially. Unofficial because she's married and it's his ass on the line. Both were pissed tonight, which didn't help, and they were standing at the bar amongst the other owners.
Jabba had noticed something wasn't right and after radioing to tip us off, had gone into the complex manager's office to have a closer, more private look on the cameras. It was less than a minute later when it all went tits-up.
First, I had to split up two of the female owners who were literally in each other's faces, and were on the verge of lady fisticuffs before I pulled them apart and Jabba carted the pisshead one off, smashing his thumb up on the firedoor in the process (somehow, when women are involved, he always ends up getting hurt.) While he was getting the drunkard outside, the other womam she was rowing with, who had clearly had all of her buttons pushed, turned on the other female owners at the bar.
With me right in the middle.
I had one literally on my back, reaching over to grab another one's hair. The other one was reaching over me from the front, threatening and trying to do XYZ. Two others were in front of me to my left, trying to get past (I had my arms stretched out from the bar to the railing, in an attempt at a one-man human wall) while two more just stood there, right next to all of this, looking on the verge of hysteria.
Man, the shit that came out of these women's mouths, I ain't ever heard.
And they all had glasses in their hands. I couldn't help thinking, fuck, I'm going to end up getting bottled by a middle-aged slapper. Oh, the dignity.
Finally I got them far enough apart and the mental one also outside (no thanks to Bilbo, who somehow managed to keep himself 3-5 metres distant from anything even remotely resembling hostility) and we calmed the situation down. End result, the original pisshead now has a permanent bar, and one of the others is on very thin ice. Good times.
Sunday: was very busy, and finally felt like what 'peak season' should. All pretty much run-of-the-mill stuff until, lo and behold, about 8pm, fucking Numbnuts came marching in.
"Just going to Burger King," he said.
No you're fucking not mate, I replied. You've got a full complex ban.
And then, of course, we had another ten minutes of how he had never done anything wrong, and how we must be used to people like him, and how he was going to tear my fucking head off, etc etc, blah blah blah. His missus was with him as well. Lovely woman, who was kind enough to tell us that the park was a 'shit-hole', and how everybody from Hastings was a right cunt.
Why do these people not understand that we don't give a fuck?
posted by Sheamus @ 1:30 pm
