This stuff basically writes itself.
Wednesday 27 June 2007
Incident that took place last night. Edmonson, myself and The Lodge are down by the main gates. Edmonson and The Lodge are talking about something, but I'm kind of just there, in my own world, spaced out. This woman, probably in her late 40s, has been standing kind of near us for a while, and it turns out she's waiting for her husband, who I realise is waiting for her up at the complex doors. Eventually he clocks on and comes down.
She's not too impressed with him and, kind of jokingly, he comes over to me and asks for an escort as she's going to "give him hell." We have a bit of banter, then he goes to leave, and says, "See you guys."
I say goodbye to him, and Edmonson, who hasn't spoken to the guy at all before now, looks back and says, "Ta da."
The bloke stops suddenly. "What did you say to me?", he says.
Edmonson turns around and looks at him blankly. "Sorry?"
"Did you just tell me to 'shut up'?" the bloke asks.
"No mate," I say, "He said 'ta da'. As in, 'goodbye'. He was saying 'goodnight', mate."
"No he fucking wasn't," says the chap, now in full rage, "He was telling me to fucking shut up..."
His missus is now telling him to shut up, and trying to drag him away.
"I've come here on fucking holiday," says the bloke, "And this cunt has fucking ruined it..."
"YOU'VE fucking ruined it," his wife says, adding, "You drunk wanker..."
"He said 'ta da', mate," I repeat, "He was saying goodbye to you..."
"No he fucking wasn't," says the man, "I know what he fucking well said..."
And then he steps forward a bit.
"Are you threatening him, mate?" I ask, and step forward myself.
"No," he replies, "He's threatening me..."
I mean, Jesus, it was pure fucking comedy. His missus eventually manages to drag him away, effing and blinding (the both of them), and the rest of us are like, "What!?"
The bottom line: it's another priceless example of where your common or garden drunk can 180 his personality literally in a split second on the back of one throwaway, totally misunderstood and utterly harmless comment.
posted by Sheamus @ 3:00 am
