Burger Kunt.
Tuesday 8 May 2007
Two things I never did before I started work as a door supervisor - ironing, and the consumption of Burger King produce.
Now I do both of these five times a week.
Let's get a couple of things straight - one, I can iron, and actually pretty well, but in the modern era who fucking irons? Your mother, that's who. Nobody else does unless they have to wear a shirt every day. Which is where I come into it.
Burger King. I hate the shit. I hate the way morons buy into the 'flame-grilled' hype when I know for a fact they just spray that crap on and cook it normally. Nothing in Burger King is as good as the equivalent product in McDonalds - nothing. In particular, BK chips are an abomination. And don't get me started on their fucking prices - even a bloody kids meal is £2.89, and a 'value' meal there can stretch as much as six fucking quid. They even charge you for the fucking dips. And, post Supersize Me, they still have a 'super' option. How the fuck do they get away with it?
I'll tell you how; because an enormous number of them have deals with the kinds of places where I work, and so not only do they get all that lovely business from the tens of thousands of people who pass through each week, but inevitably the late-night mugs like me (and Jabba, Edmonson, Bilbo, The Lodge, etc etc) get the munchies around 9-10pm (we have, after all, worked a steady four hours or less) and it's like right there, near the main entrance. Plus - and this is the key part - we get 50 per cent off. I've figured out that I can manage a XL Double Whopper, minus all the crap but with added cheese, for £1.69. It's got a lot of protein, I tell myself (55g, fact-fans.) Or eight Chicken Fillet Strips (an even more-impressive 56g of protein.) When you go to the gym, these things matter. Kind of.
BK is currently promoting a new burger with, and I kid you not, the oddly-approved mantle of Dark Whopper. Now, if that isn't a black porn star's name-in-the-making I don't know what is.
Otherwise, after the weekend's frenzy, tonight was dull, dull, dull. The place is actually pretty busy but it just doesn't compare. Poor Jabba just finished a six-night shift and really saw all kinds of crap; it's my turn this week, as we're short-staffed (again, and naturally) and so I'll be doing Thursday too. Probably.
posted by Sheamus @ 2:00 am
