The problem of sleep.
Tuesday 23 October 2007
A pint of San Miguel and two large bourbons, please.
That's what it took to guarantee I fell asleep this morning. Before 11am.
And to make sure I stayed up all night? A litre of Red Bull, four coffees, three Diet Cokes and eight Pro Plus.
The Pro Plus, I've found, is essential. I tried the previous two nights without it, and accidentally 'dozed off' at least half a dozen times.
The thing is, all this shit can't be good for you. I mean: it isn't. At somewhere between three and five am the human body, littered with caffeine, taurine, and other essential vitamins and nutrients, starts to see shit. And stuff. Apparitions. Ghosts. Late at night withered, howling entities appear at my door, banging loudly upon it and screaming for me to help them in some disturbed, ghastly tongue. Others in the building refer to them as 'tenants'.
The thing is: Red Bull. It's all a myth. Lies. Media filth. A can of Red Bull contains less caffeine than a regular cup of instant coffee (80mg vs 100mg, on average). So a litre of that shit only gets you so far. Now, Pro Plus - that's a different animal. Albeit marginally. Two tablets equates to 100mg of coffee. A can of Diet Coke has 45mg. So let's do the math.
320 + 400 + 135 + 400 = 1255mg of caffeine.
Just to be, you know, alert and shit, whilst I'm watching the latest episode of Californication. Sans Pro Plus, that's 855mg of caffeine, which clearly puts me in 'queer' territory as it does fuck all.
What this means is that when I finally get home around nine-thirty I'm so fucking wide-awake, despite an eleven-hour overnight shift, that alternative methods beyond, you know, a pillow, are necessary to get me to the land of nod. Hence, our good friends San Miguel and Jackie D. It's all about the downers and the uppers. For eleven hours, I'm doing everything I can to stay awake, and then for 60 minutes or so, trying to stamp all over that shit.
Bottom line: I can't be doing myself any favours. Anybody know a good shrink?
posted by Sheamus @ 5:30 pm
