Foursomes, firings and fights.
Sunday 3 June 2007
First of all, I had two days off this week. Thursday and Friday. You'll recall (of course) that last week I told you I was going to work the Friday (yesterday) but because management changed, the shifts changed, and that was no longer necessary. I'd done thirteen of fourteen days before this, and I was fucking knackered. However, because life is a fucking cunt, I came down with some kind of grade-A, man-sized superbug on Thursday evening and spent the better part of 24 hours lying in bed feeling really sorry for myself. Yeah, that's right: man flu. Proper, hardcore disease that would kill weaker men, and makes delivering a baby look like popping an Opal Fruit into the mouth of a rhino. Somehow, I got through.
What I missed, of course, was all kinds of shit.
First of all, Worthy. He dropped me home from work on Wednesday night, and was then meant to be taking three sub-twenty year-old females back to their residences afterwards. What actually happen was all four of them went to his temporary, for-the-night-only chalet - en park - and indulged in sexual shennanigans. A foursome, if you will. And this didn't come from his lips (snigger). At least, not at first. Jabba had heard a rumour, and together we picked it out of the guilty parties, telling each that one other had already blagged. The suckers (arf) fell for it. Eventually Worthy himself coughed up (oh, stop.) Of course we pushed it further by telling him that (a) it was a sackable offense, which was true and (b) the GM had found out about a sexual incident involving 'the new guy', but 'seemed' to 'laugh it off', which was false. He bought it all.
What all of this highlights is just how many fucking slappers are employed at my place of business. That's not a sexist statement; Worthy's blatant pursuit of the ladies is already becoming a bit of an issue. While he's great in any kind of conflict situation, the old 'weakest link' argument has many layers. It's no good being useful in a fight if you're getting a blow-job off some tart in the disabled toilet when it's all kicking off, is it?
Work-wise, Jabba told me it had all been pretty peaceful, like the rest of the week. They'd closed down on Friday night and were getting all of the owners out when suddenly it just all kicked off. One longstanding owner, but an unknown to all of us, had been drinking hard all evening. When some shit was said, he went mental, punching another bloke so hard in the face that, according to Jabba, one second he was fine and then suddenly his entire nose just seemed to explode. He then hit someone else, elbowed Jabba in the chops and then went and headbutted Bilbo... who wasn't even working that night. Bless.
(This has puzzled me; the lunatic was, Jabba said, taller than him, so somewhere at 6ft4+, and Bilbo is short. Shorter than me. So what did the crackpot do - step into a ditch!?)
Suffice to say, this geezer should be a goner. The final decision - yes, they need to make one - will be made tomorrow. If he stays, I think a lot of people will leave. It'll be a farce if he does. Rumour has it this is like the fourth or fifth incident in which he's been involved.
Bilbo. I've mentioned before his somewhat eratic working schedule, and the last time anybody had seen him at work was Friday, May 25, when he showed up on time, informed Jabba and Edmonson he had a doctor's appointment but would be 'back in, at most, an hour', then didn't show up again until the following Thursday. And was headbutted on the Friday.
Problem is, he's piled a whole heap of hay on the old camel's back and the new security management have never really liked him anyway so... they're going to get rid of him. However, he was working park tonight and when I saw him in the security lodge around 9pm he was in the middle of writing his notice. Or so he said. If there's one thing I've learned at this place, it's never to believe anything until it fucking happens. But either way it does seem his days are numbered. I have mixed feelings about it; he has been a major liability at times but fundamentally he isn't a bad bloke - he actually has a decent heart - and when I see people ganging up on somebody, especially behind their backs, it never sits well with me. But it's definitely a case of taking the piss a bit too much.
Jabba, meantime, was in one of his major gumpies tonight, and was giving it more of the 'I've had enough, mate' melarchy. He says this enough, and lately with significant venom, for it to be a worry. For me. If he leaves, I'm basically fucked. Edmonson's head has been elsewhere for weeks now and with all the staff problems and weak links in the chain we've had since I've started it's going to make my position a fucking nightmare. But the thing is I can't blame either, or, indeed, any of them for wanting out. The job has plenty of bullshit, but you accept that when you sign up. You don't need or want the bullshit from your employer, too. Or, indeed, your colleagues. You need to be able to trust somebody. Jesus, anybody will do.
posted by Sheamus @ 4:00 am
