The usual shit.
Monday 16 April 2007
Captain Jack doth appear to be a goner. Well, that's what most people think, including the big cheese manager, who was quite adamant that it's a done deal. But I heard that through Bilbo, who's becoming about as reliable as Gary Glitter with your baby sister. And as useless as fuck. Nobody wants to be the sort of person who moans to their boss about colleagues but in this business you're only as strong as your weakest links; it's less about anything physical and more that he goes out of his way to do fuck all. I gave him a piece of my mind tonight and later heard him say I was 'pissing him off' to some of the other security guys but they all know he's a wanker. It's gonna come to something eventually. Best news yet? His brother-in-law is the 'new guy' starting tomorrow. And Bilbo's taken another day off. Fuck-a-doodle-do.
Two things I forgot to mention yesterday: one, I had to confiscate a football off of five punk kids who were booting it against the windows on the main complex. I told them they could have it back when they left. An hour or so later four of them turned up to collect it and I thought that was it. About half an hour after that one little chap turned up and said, "Can I have my ball back now?" Turned out he didn't even know these other gentlemen. And the ball cost thirty quid. His dad came up to my later in the evening and I really thought he was going to kick off, especially as he was a pisshead extraordinaire, but amazingly he actually accepted my side of the story. Still, that didn't stop both parents asking me, "Had I seen those boys?" about ten times tonight. I hadn't. Nor the ball. It's a shame, but I'm afraid it's a goner.
Earlier on, I'd had an 'incident' with some owners. It's officially an incident because it went in the incident book. An older couple walked up to the gate to get in, and I asked for their passes. "We don't have them," they said, and instead showed me this keyring that had the owner's badge on it.
"Yeah. You can't get in without your passes," I said.
"We haven't got any. They were meant to be ready today but they're not."
Well... the reality is they've had three months to sort these passes out.
"Yeah, sorry. I can't let you in without a pass."
Suddenly, the woman, who was on crutches (don't laugh), became really aggressive. "Why can't you let us in? Get someone on the phone right now."
First, I don't have a phone, but I assumed she meant my radio. Secondly, I said, "Get who on the phone?"
"I don't like your attitude," said the man. By now the woman was right in my face.
"You let other people in without passes!" she said.
"Uh, no I don't." I replied.
"Yes you do," said the man, "I've seen you. You let in all kinds of criminals and villains."
Seriously. That's what he said.
I paused. "Well, first of all," I said, "I've never seen you before. This is the first day you've seen me."
"No, we saw you yesterday."
"No you didn't," I said, "I wasn't working."
"Ah, who needs this place!" said the man. "Our caravan was robbed last week and now this!"
(I later checked this out, and it was true. Still...)
"If you just go and sort out your passes..." I said.
By now the woman was very close, and brandishing her crutches in a threatening manner. No, really. It's not funny.
At this moment, Jabba turned up and he later told me he expected her to attack me. And I think she would have done if her old man hadn't suddenly said, "Oh, forget it. Come on... COME ON!" and literally dragged her away.
They then ran into my boss around the corner and moaned about not being let in. "Actually..." he said, and informed them that we were right to turn them away. They went ballistic.
They actually returned later with day passes and were chock-full of the warmth of sarcasm. "I hope the security on our caravan tonight is as good as on this gate," he said, "But I know it won't be."
"I dunno... if you tell me where you're staying, I'll pop round at four with a baseball bat," I wanted to say, but really couldn't. Still, in their fury they'd let their name slip and are no doubt being gassed as we speak. Or possibly being offered an upgrade.
posted by Sheamus @ 2:00 am
